WHO YA GONNA CALL??

It's been a long, long two days in Columbus, without a computer and the urgent need to get this written ASAP. On the trip down, I suddenly realized that in all my writing, I've failed to share with one and all the two neighbors that Mom and Dad have called upon for years in times of need, and that I have simply continued. Joe and Terri Mitchell, who used to live next door, and Bob and Dee Clary, who live across the street from us, have dropped whatever they were doing more times than I can count to come and rescue us in the last two months.

In this picture, Bob has his back to us, in the blue T-shirt, (sorry Bob!) and Dee is facing us, with the sun in her face. This is the best photo I have - so far! In the pink shirt and sunglasses is Terri and next to her is her hubby, Joe. The photo was taken during the combo inauguration of our new deck and going away party for Terri and Joe. They have moved to Toledo to be closer to their kids and grandkids, but we really miss their support and prayers. I doubt if anyone, even Joe and Terry, realize how much help they were to me personally during those first few weeks of Dad's diagnosis when he was so very ill. I miss them each and every day.

But, thank you God, we still have Bob and Dee. And there have been days when I simply don't know what we'd have done without them. I know Mom and Dad would be lost without their friendship, caring, and support!

It was Dee who actually drove us to North Coast Cancer Center in Clyde, since she knew where it was. Thank God she was with us. I'm not sure I could have driven home that day. She took wonderful care of us. That weekend, when we had our first major scare with Dad, it was Bob and Dee who came on the run, holding our hands, and waiting with Mom and me until Hospice arrived to allay our fears and get Dad stabilized.

When Mom tripped over the fan and sliced her hand, Dad called, dragging Dee out of bed at the ungodly hour of 7 a.m.! She immediately came over, barely awake, but ready to do whatever we needed, calming all of us in the process. She ended up going and staying with mom in the E.R. while her hand was sutured, while I took care of something urgent here at home that eludes me at the moment. When Mom and I went to Doctor's appointments, she stayed with Dad, to make sure he was okay, before we trusted others to stay with him, when he was so very ill.

I've lost track of the number of meals she's provided for mom and dad, and she's even trained one of her daughters to include servings for mom and dad when she bakes for Dee and Bob! When I'm in Columbus, I can always count on Dee to check on Mom and Dad at least twice a day, to make sure that they're okay. She helps mom remember her meds, and checks on Dad! (Personally, I don't know how she finds the time; the woman NEVER stops. If she's not mowing her grass, planting new flower beds, mulching, making beautiful, hand-crafted Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, birthday, etc, cards or some other craft, sewing for her kids or grandkids, she's off and running over creation!) I think Bob has given up trying to keep up with her - it's just not possible!

Speaking of Bob, he's turned into our "on-call repairman". No job is too big, too small, too tough, or even an inconvenience! The poor man came over to measure for a shelf mom had asked him to put over the hot water heater in Dad's bathroom so we'd stop putting stuff on top of the water heater itself, and I found three other "little things" for him to do. Bob NEVER complained once, just sighed deeply, and took care of the stuff. The man has been constructing cabinets in his own garage for a couple of weeks now, and yet, he drops everything to be at our beck and call! Daddy's coffee table leg fell off, and Daddy got it back on - backwards, and we got Bob to fix it. He just looked at it, shook his head, and put the leg on the right way. When the full-length mirror came off the door in the "guest room" (aka Deb's room), Bob brought over this wonderful bonding stuff, used the caulk gun, and got the mirror back on to stay. Unfortunately, the other panel came off about three weeks later . . . . and Bob thought it was the same one at first - silly guy - should have had more faith in his own work - I know that mirror is never coming off. So, out of the bonding stuff, he used tape, and viola'! the second panel is on to stay! He makes it all looks so easy - and his workmanship is flawless!

It scares me to think that come the end of October, Bob and Dee will be headed to Florida for the Winter, returning next May, I think it is. It's clear that I've got to have my house packed up and contents stored by then, and work on getting that transfer to somewhere in the area by the end of the month. As I drove to Columbus, contemplating all this, it suddenly dawned on me how much I depend on them to keep an eye on the parents when I'm not around. And they've known Mom and Dad for over 30 years, so there's a solid foundation of a relationship as well as years of history and observations that are enormously helpful.

So, who am I gonna call in time of crisis? Bob and Dee are the first call I will ALWAYS make - before little brother, Hospice - anyone. Knowing I can count on them is such a blessing! I could never have continued working even on a limited basis at CVS, without their support, encouragement and just plain taking care of mom and dad! I hope that each and every person is as fortunate as we are to have someone like the Clarys to depend on, take care of them, and just maintain their friendship in a situation like this. Cherish it! And I thank God each and every day for them and their "neighborliness"!

Deb

WHERE DO I START?

It's people like Mims, Sam, the EAA "trio": Bill D., Bill H., and Dan, that keep us all going; gave me courage to get thru those dark and scary weeks; and help me remember to share when things start going better.

A friend and I were talking about 'how long" we'd been doing this, and were really surprised to realize that it's "only been two months". Then we began wondering how hard this has to be for Dad. Of course, he blows us off with his cheery, standard response, you know the one that goes something like,"I've lived 85 years, I'm in my own country, with my family, and lots of our boys didn't get that . . ." . So it's really hard to read him, most of the time!

Our standing joke has become, "if only he was more flexible". Actually, he HAS come a long, long way! He's making accommodations and asking for help more often than I ever thought he would. And giving him responsibility for his meds was the best thing I did. I just have to make sure he understands that he HAS to take the Lasix twice a day now, it's not optional. He still refuses to take anything for pain or sleep, and, much as it pains me to admit it, it is his choice. Still don't understand why he maintains this "grit, damn it grit" attitude, but, guess I don't have to understand it, just accept it. Just pains me to have to watch him be miserable.

Ah, the joys of growing old. Not me! I've decided I'm going to figure a way to die while I'm still young and not have to deal with this kind of misery! That's my thoughts on that!

Deb

Thanks, Debi!

Debi,

It is thanks to you that I learned to use this Blogger!
I really appreciate the challenge and chance to move forward with technology.
Hope this finds you all well and healthy. Love you all!
Mim xooxox

Glad to hear good news about our Jibby!

Great to hear the news about our Jibby bouncing back so well, because we need him around for all the super things yet to come!

Thought you'd enjoy seeing the photo of John C. and his wife Susan taken in Belgrade while I was there with the Kosovo Serbian Men's Choir singing throughout the country(ies).  John is working with the people of Pranjani, Serbia to help make the lives of the people there better with a museum, school library and perhaps a documentary film.   After all, it was the Serbs, along with the great men of the OSS including our Jibby, Musulin, Lalich, Rajacich, etc. who saved over 500 U.S. airmen during WWII!  

DAD'S HEALTH

I have come to realize that my sudden announcement of Dad's diagnosis with the accompanying doom and gloom prognosis from the doctors has probably caused much confusion for many folks, especially when they hear that his blood work is actually improving. Red cells, white cells, platelets, hemoglobin, and hematocrit are all above critical levels for the first time since July 1, when he was diagnosed! We've come out of the initial shock and denial, and are beginning to live beyond minute to minute. Dad's sense of humor, warped as it is sometimes, is coming back, and even Mom is beginning to come to grips with this awful reality.

I can't convince anyone that he's actually doing pretty well. Yep, he gets tired, but he's a "cruster", my favorite descriptor for my parents and anyone much older than me. He's 85 years old. Is he tired because he's 85 or because of the leukemia? Who cares and does it really matter? His hearing actually seems to be somewhat better - or is he listening more? Sometimes we communicate better than others, with the accompanying problems that result when we don't and the giggles when we do! Life as we know it will never be the same, but then again, I've moved into my parents' home, totally disrupting their placid little life and routine with my animals and "stuff", and before we can get any real routine established with the three of us, I'm off to Columbus to try and pack my house to rent and work the weekend! And then I'm home again for a few days, with doctor appointments, laundry, shopping, and running the house, and all the other things to get done before racing off to Columbus for a "repeat performance". Not complaining here - honest! Just a description of why it's so hard on mom and dad sometimes for any real routine to get established with the three of us! And this doesn't even take into account the change in roles from them taking care of me to me taking care of them. Life used to be sooooo simple!

So, anyway, I've decided that I'll try to post pictures of Dad on a regular basis to help people "see for themselves" how he's really doing. Maybe that will help folks know that he really is up and driving to and from dental and eye appointments when I'm not here, out to dinner a couple of times a week, and generally pretty much enjoying and living life!

Deb

DOESN'T HE LOOK GOOD???

Doesn't he look good? DAD I MEAN, NOT THE DOG! I keep telling you he's doing great; maybe this will convince some of you!
Deb

HE'S REALLY DOING PRETTY WELL

I keep telling folks there needs to be a manual for this crap, and they just look at me and shake their heads, and smile at the poor, crazy woman uttering such nonsense. Several interesting things to share with one and all may help clarify some of the perceptions many of you have regarding Dad and his condition.

One of the Hospice Nurses visiting Thursday confirmed what I've been saying for the last seven weeks: the docs didn't think Dad would make it those first two weeks after he was diagnosed. Doesn't change anything, except confirm how really "deathly ill" - pun intended - he was on July 1.

However, I don't think folks recognize that he's actually NOT at "Death's Door" these days, in spite of my many efforts to communicate that. A recent visitor who shall remain nameless, expected to see a "cadaver", altho they speak almost on a weekly basis. I keep trying to tell folks exactly what's going on, but apparently my initial deliverance of the diagnosis blew any credibility I might have had, and many just don't believe that he's doing as well as he is.

I'm tempted to ask Bill David, our buddy from the EAA, for a testimonial. He and/or Bill Hirzel speak to Dad at least on a weekly basis, and Bill just visited Dad this weekend. It was great for Dad to just sit and shoot the breeze with another guy for awhile - I know he gets bored with just mom and me sometimes!

I figure a picture is worth a thousand words, so after finishing this, I'm going to do my best to add a photo of Dad that should show the world in general just how healthy he is. Can he go out and run a marathon? Obviously not, and he does well some days to get his shower done. He tires easily, and gets weak, but he's feeling pretty good, overall. So don't write him off, count him out, or any of those other tired, old cliches'! He may surprise all of us, and hang around for a good long while! We should be so lucky!

Deb

UPDATE

Okay - so Dad doesn't think folks are interested in MY cats on HIS blog - and for those of you who aren't, I apologize. Trying to diversify and talk about something besides being sick, low blood counts, doctor visits, and the latest crisis. It's all so redundant after awhile; and I'm afraid I'm losing folks. But then again; doesn't appear that anyone is reading this besides us, so guess it doesn't matter. Golly - need a BIG piece of cheese with that whine, Deb - didn't mean it that way, but wowie! Sure came out that way! Again, my apologies to one and all. It was meant as an observation, not a whine, nothing more.

Ok - for those of you who don't already know; dad was doing pretty well, red and white blood counts, and platelets, no less, all are out of critical range, for the first time since, oh, well at least mid-June! Unfortunately, his hemoglobin and hematocrit are way down, resulting in tremendous fatigue and weakness. Dr. Roshon, Oncologist, saw him on August 5th, recommending transfusion of two units to see if his energy level would pick up. Couldn't persuade him until the 11th, got the type and cross done on the 12th and finally got the transfusion on the 13th. Seemed to help somewhat.

We'll probably never know the full benefit, since I went home, to Columbus, mid-morning on Thursday, "abandoning" Thistle, my dog. At some point Thursday evening, Thistle escaped the fenced-in yard, and mom and dad spent the rest of the night hunting the little monster - oops, I mean darling; postponing calling me until morning since I worked until mid-night. Of course, the damn dog had his new rabies tag and was wearing old tags from their other dog for just such a "problem", and 30 minutes after sharing the news with me, mom and dad got the call that he'd been found. Thistle had a lovely overnight stay, making friends with a big lab 2 - 3 miles away, got fed canned dog food instead of the dry stuff served at home, and just had such a great time he didn't want to leave after greeting mom and dad with open arms and wagging tail!

Obviously, this took a tremendous toll on Dad - thank God he'd had the transfusion. I can only imagine a much worse scenario had he not had it to fall back on. He's still recovering tonight, and when I go to Columbus from now on, the dog goes with me!

We see an Ear, Nose and Throat Specialist tomorrow morning for mom, and if we can get some answers regarding HER health, it will be a tremendous relief to Dad. He's so worried and protective of her, that it's hard for him to focus on himself!

Hospice Nurses continue to visit twice a week, and we aren't utilizing many more services at this time, since he's maintaining. He continues to complain about the "miserable hospital bed", which in my humble opinion, remains a great indicator of his overall status! I'll do my best to keep this updated if he doesn't, but with moving out of my house in Columbus in the next month, it may be skimpy. Hang in there, and remember, "No news is good news!"

Deb

Hi, this is "Jibby",

Thanks for all your comments and prayers........and thanks to my daughter, Debi for taking over when I was unable to blog! I would like to make several things clear:

I have been blessed. I have lived 85 wonderful years, survived many close encounters, came back to my beloved country after WWII, and will spend the last remaining time among friends and loved ones. Can't ask for much more than that!

In addition, I have made some new, wonderful, friends. The members of the EAA (Experimental Aircraft Association). Bill David, Brian McMahon, Bill Hirzell and the entire EAA have taken us under their "wings"....literally. They collaborated with WTOL and the University of Toledo to make the fly-in at Metcalf a huge success. Then, the made the Ypsilanti Museum available for Jennifer Boresz's interview with me and the rescued airmen which was shown of WTOL TV several times. They went way out of their way to transport "Mim" Bizic, Curt Diles , Clare Musgrove, and me to and from Metcalf and Ypsilanti. They really helped get our"story" out.

SUMMER DAZE

It's hot, it's humid, and Dad's still wearing his sock cap to sleep in, his sweater during the day when we have the AC on, and doesn't want a fan on because of the draft!! BUT - He's taking his med's on his own, gets his own snacks, starts breakfast on his own, and still does his shower and dressing on his own. (OK, so it's more info than you needed, but damn, he's so independent, and that's not just good, it's GREAT!!)

Dad's still feeling good - Yippee! He's working hard at eating better and more, and it's showing! Some problems with edema in his feet, but we're working on that. Had to take mom to the Doc for a follow-up on a hand laceration from a fall on Saturday that earned her six, yep, six stitches, so Dad got to see the Family Doc for the first time since his diagnosis. WOW! Was the Doc ever surprised, especially when he learned Dad had driven mom to the appointment! He was actually pleased with how good Dad looked, and commented on his color improvement. (Personally, I think it was the lack of winter coat, hat, and blanket this time that made the difference!)

Oshkosh fell thru, but not because Bill David, EAA, didn't work his tail off, so it was meant to be - or not; I'm not sure which language is accurate right now! In any event, it's clear that Bill did more than HIS part, the problem was on the other end, so, life goes on!

Dad does have an interview with Dave Kleck, News Director at the Napoleon, Ohio Radio Station, on Aug. 6th, here at home, as a direct result of the Fly In publicity. Mr. Kleck called just after Dad's diagnosis, when he was so ill, and I kept his info, promising to call him when Dad was feeling better, and I think he was surprised when I did. As always, Dad's excitedly anticipating talking more about his favorite topic! I've already e-mailed close to 200 pics to Mr. K to help him get an idea of Dad's journey.

On the lighter side, my four cats have now joined us here in Fremont. Blackie, at 15, came a week before the other three, and has adjusted beautifully. Boots, (age13/14?), Patches, (age 7/8?), and Elf, ( age 7/8?) serenaded me all the way from Columbus with their plaintive cries of complaint. Whether they were more upset about riding in the car or the crates remains a mystery! Boots is quickly resuming his old habit of stalking Blackie, jumping on the sleeping cat and biting him or chasing him for no reason. And we wondered why Blackie hissed at him when he arrived?

Elf and Patches remain in "isolation", having arrived on Monday afternoon (last week) and gone to the vet for spaying and declawing last Tuesday morning. As adult cats, they've handled the surgery well, but Elf is having trouble adjusting to all the "stress", and is being followed by the vet pretty closely. Patches visited mom this morning in bed, staying just long enough to wake her up, and wandering away. Boots wants to chew on her Sleep Apnea machine hose, which is not winning him any bonus points!

And Thistle? The poor dog thought he was rid of the cats for good and celebrating being King Dog and only Animal of the House for over three months! Boy, did that bubble burst big time! They are a great distraction for both mom and dad, especially when someone moves suddenly and Thistle, Boots or Blackie goes sliding across the wooden floor in the Kitchen on their butt! What a hoot! Thought you'd all get THAT visual picture and enjoy it!

Now, IF I can figure out how to upload/download or whatever load pics of the cats, I'll try to share them for a slightly different and broader conversation piece!

On the other hand, it may just be too hot for that! Maybe I'll focus on getting Dad to write here and update everyone!

Deb

GREAT DAYS!

Last week, Dad wanted a Big Mac, so we went out for dinner and he at an ENTIRE Big Mac (minus the top bun, of course)! No small feat for him!

Tonight we went out for dinner and he ordered his typical chicken fajitas, again without the tortillas, and ate almost half of them! Then he ordered and ate the small hot fudge sundae!

Obviously, he's feeling great, and we're doing our best to get him out and about more, now that he's feeling better. He had an interview with Cynthia Nowak this morning, Editor of the University of Toledo Alumni Magazine, and a photographer, to be published in the January, 2009 issue.

He needs to keep moving, so there isn't so much fluid build-up in his feet and legs, and he keeps threatening to run a marathon, but personally, I don't think he can decide which one to train for/run!

All four cats are here, although Boots is in hiding at the moment, and a joyous chorus was produced by today's trio ALL the way from Columbus - I'm not sure who was more exhausted; the cats or me! Blackie and Dad are getting along famously, especially since Blackie remembers Dad feeding him during meals at home from years ago! YUM!

This morning Blackie headed for the window beside Dad's chair, bumping the lamp in the process. Luckily, only the bulb stopped working, and didn't break!

Stay cool in this heat!
Deb

FINALLY, IN MY OWN NAME!

I'm so excited - I finally figured out how to post in my own name! Now all I have to do is persuade Dad to do postings! Gotta run - he's calling, but this is a first! Thanks to all for prayers and good wishes! Keep them coming! Hugs to all!
Deb

GOOD NEWS!

GOOD NEWS FOR A CHANGE! Word from the Oncologist came last night, via e-mail, that Dad's blast cells aren't nearly as low as previously thought, so leukemia may not become as aggressive as quickly as anticipated. YIPEEE!

Dr. Steven Roshon is a wonderfully compassionate and gentle man, who genuinely cares about his patients, something quite rare these days in a physician, as we have learned the hard way. I'd sent him the links for the Fly In, etc., and he responded with this info, AND that he'll be buying the Forgotten 500 book.

Debi

BELATED UPDATE

It's hard to believe that I've let a week go by without updating this site! Wow! Sorry, but it's been a busy one. Hospice has been wonderful, but anyone who's ever experienced them knows how many people we need to meet in these first few days. We had another visit to the Oncologist, who only confirmed everything we already knew. Unfortunately, we also learned that Dad has a rare form of leukemia, undifferentiated, which less than 4% of the population has. Why are we surprised? He's a rare guy, so it's understandable! MY main concern is that he lost 8 precious pounds between visits (July 1 - July 8), and anyone who knows him, knows he doesn't have 8 ounces to lose, much less 8 pounds!

Neighbors and friends are visiting, which has helped keep his spirits up. Phone calls from Serbs all over the U.S. continue to surprise him, and give him so much pleasure! Mim, Sam, Alex, and Draza are regular callers. And the e-mails - good golly, Miss Molly! They are burning the I-net with good wishes and comfort to him! He enjoys reading them!

He's getting around most of the time without the walker, using it only when he has those occasional bouts of dizziness. He maintains that fierce independence of his, which keeps him going, when any of the rest of us would simply cave! It's only reluctantly that he consents to a rare, and I do mean rare, pain pill. He sleeps pretty much like he always has; a few hours here, a few hours there, up at 4 a.m. for breakfast, and a nap until 8 a.m., and another small breakfast then; and we're up and running for the day.

Again, thank you for your support, prayers, phone calls, and e-mails. They help ALL of us more than words can express.

I'm still working with him on how to post here directly, which is why he made the comment response, but we'll get it soon!

Debi

So much gratitude

I was caught by surprise at the "Fly In" on June 14th, by the recognition that Mim brought from the Serbs. That was but the tip of the iceberg, as I've discovered in the last 5 days. The outpouring of comfort, prayers, genuine concern and love, not just for Dad, but for out entire family has been absolutely stunning! We've heard from folks from all over the U.S., and you have been wonderful. Rarely am I at a loss for words, but your demonstration of the true meaning of unconditional love and support has left me almost at a loss. Thank you doesn't seem adequate, but it is all I have, and please believe me when I say that it comes from the bottom of my heart. I could never have made it through these last few days without your comfort and support. Sam, all the guys from EAA, but especially Bill H, Danny Boy, and Micky Mouse, and of course, his wife, Bridget; Alexandra, Cynthia, - you deserve special recognition for the multiple phone calls and e-mails at all those gawd-awful hours that you responded to without complaint!

To bring those of you who haven't heard up to date: Dad had a really, really rough day on Thursday, and facing the holiday weekend, after consulting with the Oncologist, Dr. Roshon, who called unexpectedly, and the new primary care physician, Dr. Hoelzle, we agreed that it was time to initiate contact with Hospice. I can't begin to describe how helpful they have been. On Friday morning, remember, this is a Holiday, a hospital bed was delivered and set up, along with an over-the-bed tray on wheels, and a wheeled walker! Early afternoon, I was able to pick up Lasix for his water retention, and an oral mouthwash to help with problems there, and he's already noted improvement! He even agreed to take the Morphine Sol Tabs (under his tongue) each night at bedtime, to help him sleep. Using the walker maintains his independence and keeps him safer in moving around the house. The hospital bed is in the corner of the living room, so he's more a part of the "regular home routine" and it's so much easier to keep an eye on him. In addition, he much closer to the computer room, and as a result, he's actually been reading some of your e-mails himself, instead of hearing about them from me, and waiting until he feels better to go thru them! I expect him to be adding to this blog tomorrow!

He's eating much, much better than he was on Wednesday and Thursday morning. That alone is helping to increase his over-all strength and well-being! I've figured out that as long as we make sure that he gets primarily soft foods until his mouth heals, he'll do much better with eating!

Hope folks are reading this and will comment.
Debi

Thursday, July 3, 2008

Okay, I've been promising this for two or three days now, so here it is! Just a couple of housekeeping details before we get started. Please stop for just a moment and say a BIG, BIG THANK YOU to little brother, Mark, who is responsible for so quickly setting up this blog. Thank heaven we have a computer genius in the family! Couldn't have done this without him!

Second, we are sharing this with you, our trusted friends, who we consider family. It is our chronicle of this private war of Jibby's that we will have forever. It is not now, or ever, designed to be for public consumption. I'll say this only one time, and move on: my wrath will be without precedent and I will hunt you down and haunt your descendants for all eternity if this privacy is invaded in any way.

This has been such a roller coaster week for all of us, and we're all, obviously, still in shock. Daddy will be adding his thoughts and comments as he's able to.

He's having a great day today, and enjoyed a visit from three of the guys from the EAA (Experimental Aircraft Association) that honored him just two weeks ago at the "Plane Fun Fly-In". What a great time they had! I'll try to get pics posted later today, and more details, along with their comments here!

Right now, I need to get this posted and then an e-mail out to all of you about this! Please continue to keep in touch with Jibby - he is so touched by all the concern and it means so much to all of us!

Debi

Art Jibilian

Diagnosed July 1, 2008 with Acute Leukemia.