WHO YA GONNA CALL??

It's been a long, long two days in Columbus, without a computer and the urgent need to get this written ASAP. On the trip down, I suddenly realized that in all my writing, I've failed to share with one and all the two neighbors that Mom and Dad have called upon for years in times of need, and that I have simply continued. Joe and Terri Mitchell, who used to live next door, and Bob and Dee Clary, who live across the street from us, have dropped whatever they were doing more times than I can count to come and rescue us in the last two months.

In this picture, Bob has his back to us, in the blue T-shirt, (sorry Bob!) and Dee is facing us, with the sun in her face. This is the best photo I have - so far! In the pink shirt and sunglasses is Terri and next to her is her hubby, Joe. The photo was taken during the combo inauguration of our new deck and going away party for Terri and Joe. They have moved to Toledo to be closer to their kids and grandkids, but we really miss their support and prayers. I doubt if anyone, even Joe and Terry, realize how much help they were to me personally during those first few weeks of Dad's diagnosis when he was so very ill. I miss them each and every day.

But, thank you God, we still have Bob and Dee. And there have been days when I simply don't know what we'd have done without them. I know Mom and Dad would be lost without their friendship, caring, and support!

It was Dee who actually drove us to North Coast Cancer Center in Clyde, since she knew where it was. Thank God she was with us. I'm not sure I could have driven home that day. She took wonderful care of us. That weekend, when we had our first major scare with Dad, it was Bob and Dee who came on the run, holding our hands, and waiting with Mom and me until Hospice arrived to allay our fears and get Dad stabilized.

When Mom tripped over the fan and sliced her hand, Dad called, dragging Dee out of bed at the ungodly hour of 7 a.m.! She immediately came over, barely awake, but ready to do whatever we needed, calming all of us in the process. She ended up going and staying with mom in the E.R. while her hand was sutured, while I took care of something urgent here at home that eludes me at the moment. When Mom and I went to Doctor's appointments, she stayed with Dad, to make sure he was okay, before we trusted others to stay with him, when he was so very ill.

I've lost track of the number of meals she's provided for mom and dad, and she's even trained one of her daughters to include servings for mom and dad when she bakes for Dee and Bob! When I'm in Columbus, I can always count on Dee to check on Mom and Dad at least twice a day, to make sure that they're okay. She helps mom remember her meds, and checks on Dad! (Personally, I don't know how she finds the time; the woman NEVER stops. If she's not mowing her grass, planting new flower beds, mulching, making beautiful, hand-crafted Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, birthday, etc, cards or some other craft, sewing for her kids or grandkids, she's off and running over creation!) I think Bob has given up trying to keep up with her - it's just not possible!

Speaking of Bob, he's turned into our "on-call repairman". No job is too big, too small, too tough, or even an inconvenience! The poor man came over to measure for a shelf mom had asked him to put over the hot water heater in Dad's bathroom so we'd stop putting stuff on top of the water heater itself, and I found three other "little things" for him to do. Bob NEVER complained once, just sighed deeply, and took care of the stuff. The man has been constructing cabinets in his own garage for a couple of weeks now, and yet, he drops everything to be at our beck and call! Daddy's coffee table leg fell off, and Daddy got it back on - backwards, and we got Bob to fix it. He just looked at it, shook his head, and put the leg on the right way. When the full-length mirror came off the door in the "guest room" (aka Deb's room), Bob brought over this wonderful bonding stuff, used the caulk gun, and got the mirror back on to stay. Unfortunately, the other panel came off about three weeks later . . . . and Bob thought it was the same one at first - silly guy - should have had more faith in his own work - I know that mirror is never coming off. So, out of the bonding stuff, he used tape, and viola'! the second panel is on to stay! He makes it all looks so easy - and his workmanship is flawless!

It scares me to think that come the end of October, Bob and Dee will be headed to Florida for the Winter, returning next May, I think it is. It's clear that I've got to have my house packed up and contents stored by then, and work on getting that transfer to somewhere in the area by the end of the month. As I drove to Columbus, contemplating all this, it suddenly dawned on me how much I depend on them to keep an eye on the parents when I'm not around. And they've known Mom and Dad for over 30 years, so there's a solid foundation of a relationship as well as years of history and observations that are enormously helpful.

So, who am I gonna call in time of crisis? Bob and Dee are the first call I will ALWAYS make - before little brother, Hospice - anyone. Knowing I can count on them is such a blessing! I could never have continued working even on a limited basis at CVS, without their support, encouragement and just plain taking care of mom and dad! I hope that each and every person is as fortunate as we are to have someone like the Clarys to depend on, take care of them, and just maintain their friendship in a situation like this. Cherish it! And I thank God each and every day for them and their "neighborliness"!

Deb

WHERE DO I START?

It's people like Mims, Sam, the EAA "trio": Bill D., Bill H., and Dan, that keep us all going; gave me courage to get thru those dark and scary weeks; and help me remember to share when things start going better.

A friend and I were talking about 'how long" we'd been doing this, and were really surprised to realize that it's "only been two months". Then we began wondering how hard this has to be for Dad. Of course, he blows us off with his cheery, standard response, you know the one that goes something like,"I've lived 85 years, I'm in my own country, with my family, and lots of our boys didn't get that . . ." . So it's really hard to read him, most of the time!

Our standing joke has become, "if only he was more flexible". Actually, he HAS come a long, long way! He's making accommodations and asking for help more often than I ever thought he would. And giving him responsibility for his meds was the best thing I did. I just have to make sure he understands that he HAS to take the Lasix twice a day now, it's not optional. He still refuses to take anything for pain or sleep, and, much as it pains me to admit it, it is his choice. Still don't understand why he maintains this "grit, damn it grit" attitude, but, guess I don't have to understand it, just accept it. Just pains me to have to watch him be miserable.

Ah, the joys of growing old. Not me! I've decided I'm going to figure a way to die while I'm still young and not have to deal with this kind of misery! That's my thoughts on that!

Deb

Thanks, Debi!

Debi,

It is thanks to you that I learned to use this Blogger!
I really appreciate the challenge and chance to move forward with technology.
Hope this finds you all well and healthy. Love you all!
Mim xooxox

Glad to hear good news about our Jibby!

Great to hear the news about our Jibby bouncing back so well, because we need him around for all the super things yet to come!

Thought you'd enjoy seeing the photo of John C. and his wife Susan taken in Belgrade while I was there with the Kosovo Serbian Men's Choir singing throughout the country(ies).  John is working with the people of Pranjani, Serbia to help make the lives of the people there better with a museum, school library and perhaps a documentary film.   After all, it was the Serbs, along with the great men of the OSS including our Jibby, Musulin, Lalich, Rajacich, etc. who saved over 500 U.S. airmen during WWII!  

DAD'S HEALTH

I have come to realize that my sudden announcement of Dad's diagnosis with the accompanying doom and gloom prognosis from the doctors has probably caused much confusion for many folks, especially when they hear that his blood work is actually improving. Red cells, white cells, platelets, hemoglobin, and hematocrit are all above critical levels for the first time since July 1, when he was diagnosed! We've come out of the initial shock and denial, and are beginning to live beyond minute to minute. Dad's sense of humor, warped as it is sometimes, is coming back, and even Mom is beginning to come to grips with this awful reality.

I can't convince anyone that he's actually doing pretty well. Yep, he gets tired, but he's a "cruster", my favorite descriptor for my parents and anyone much older than me. He's 85 years old. Is he tired because he's 85 or because of the leukemia? Who cares and does it really matter? His hearing actually seems to be somewhat better - or is he listening more? Sometimes we communicate better than others, with the accompanying problems that result when we don't and the giggles when we do! Life as we know it will never be the same, but then again, I've moved into my parents' home, totally disrupting their placid little life and routine with my animals and "stuff", and before we can get any real routine established with the three of us, I'm off to Columbus to try and pack my house to rent and work the weekend! And then I'm home again for a few days, with doctor appointments, laundry, shopping, and running the house, and all the other things to get done before racing off to Columbus for a "repeat performance". Not complaining here - honest! Just a description of why it's so hard on mom and dad sometimes for any real routine to get established with the three of us! And this doesn't even take into account the change in roles from them taking care of me to me taking care of them. Life used to be sooooo simple!

So, anyway, I've decided that I'll try to post pictures of Dad on a regular basis to help people "see for themselves" how he's really doing. Maybe that will help folks know that he really is up and driving to and from dental and eye appointments when I'm not here, out to dinner a couple of times a week, and generally pretty much enjoying and living life!

Deb

DOESN'T HE LOOK GOOD???

Doesn't he look good? DAD I MEAN, NOT THE DOG! I keep telling you he's doing great; maybe this will convince some of you!
Deb

HE'S REALLY DOING PRETTY WELL

I keep telling folks there needs to be a manual for this crap, and they just look at me and shake their heads, and smile at the poor, crazy woman uttering such nonsense. Several interesting things to share with one and all may help clarify some of the perceptions many of you have regarding Dad and his condition.

One of the Hospice Nurses visiting Thursday confirmed what I've been saying for the last seven weeks: the docs didn't think Dad would make it those first two weeks after he was diagnosed. Doesn't change anything, except confirm how really "deathly ill" - pun intended - he was on July 1.

However, I don't think folks recognize that he's actually NOT at "Death's Door" these days, in spite of my many efforts to communicate that. A recent visitor who shall remain nameless, expected to see a "cadaver", altho they speak almost on a weekly basis. I keep trying to tell folks exactly what's going on, but apparently my initial deliverance of the diagnosis blew any credibility I might have had, and many just don't believe that he's doing as well as he is.

I'm tempted to ask Bill David, our buddy from the EAA, for a testimonial. He and/or Bill Hirzel speak to Dad at least on a weekly basis, and Bill just visited Dad this weekend. It was great for Dad to just sit and shoot the breeze with another guy for awhile - I know he gets bored with just mom and me sometimes!

I figure a picture is worth a thousand words, so after finishing this, I'm going to do my best to add a photo of Dad that should show the world in general just how healthy he is. Can he go out and run a marathon? Obviously not, and he does well some days to get his shower done. He tires easily, and gets weak, but he's feeling pretty good, overall. So don't write him off, count him out, or any of those other tired, old cliches'! He may surprise all of us, and hang around for a good long while! We should be so lucky!

Deb